I don't want to know how you do what you do

I don't know how I got so lucky; my girl not only encourages me to play music ("Make sure you learn a bass solo for the next time you and Nate play") but she also rags on referees on my behalf. I went and played a preseason church ball game last night and was apalled at how the game was called. Of course the refs were early twentysomethings that couldn't figure how to get their whistles to their lips. Of course the basketball court was akin to that of a slaughterhouse because of the fact. Of course I had four fouls in the second quarter alone. Fortunately for me we weren't keeping track of fouls because I would have been out in the first two minutes of the third quarter. My ward has a bunch of younger guys on the team and we played an older ward. I don't think they realized that they had to check their handicap at the door because we went all out on them. They got mad and played dirty men basketball and got the most bogus calls whistled in their favor (it seems those refs could get that whistle in their mouths for the older gents) and spent more time at the line than we did. (One note to make my dad proud: I got fouled, badly, on a wide-open shot. I had made the lay-up and then went and made the freethrow. Sorry, but my dad likes hearing about my freethrow aptitude.) Anyways, I try not to go off so much at the end of poorly handled games because I reckon that nobody wants to hear my whining. Well, Liz beat me to it. Her extensive knowledge of the game gave me an earful on the way to the car. It was glorious! "That wasn't a foul! The guy just can't dribble." "You don't wrap a guy up like that." "You weren't even close to elbowing that guy in the face. Why'd you get the foul?" (Because I'm tall and my number is really easy to see.) "The guy with the worst sportsmanship was the athletic director." It was great. She ripped that game like nobody's business. We won, by the way. By thirty. Still, it was no fun as players on the other team were calling fouls and the refs would honor them, even if they didn't see the foul. Regardless, my wife rules and I want her at all my games, especially since I'm pretty sure she'd rush the court and kill anyone that actually hurt me for reals.